How do I change my heart?

In my previous post I mentioned my heart is the core of who I am. My heart drives my mind, will and emotions. So if it is the core of what drives me to do the things I do… How do I change my heart?

It has been a long journey and a hard struggle. I have heard many sermons encouraging me to continue struggling and press on… To become strong like an athlete pushing a rock that they might never move. It’s not easy and after all “the longest journey is from the head to the heart”. It’s exhausting but be encouraged, I have good news for you… It’s impossible!

What? Yes! Take things through to their logical conclusion… If I do happen to achieve something that looks like I have changed my heart then the only thing I will have is my self righteousness. The same self righteousness as the Pharasees.

Jesus came to give me rest. Rest in Him where I am free to be real with what’s really going on inside. Rest where I am not afraid of condemnation. For perfect Love casts out all fear [of condemnation] (this is the actual context of this verse).

The only way I have found to change my heart is to stop trying and acknowledge that I can’t. To come before my Heavenly Father and allow and ask Him to show me the reality of what is going on within me… This is usually quite difficult because it involves facing past pains, hurts and traumas and allowing Father to bring to light those things in me that love the darkness. Besides, wasn’t this what I did when I first became a Christian? I acknowledged that my good is not good, I can’t save myself and I open my heart to receive Jesus… His forgiveness and His Love. If this was the way I took my first step in my journey as a Christian, why did I start trying to take additional “steps” by any other means?

A change of heart can be a long journey but ultimately Father doesn’t actually want to change my heart… He just wants to Love it. He wants to pour his Love and comfort into my heart. Not a heart that has been tidied up and had it’s best effort smile pinned in place but a heart that is real, honest, and vulnerable with the ugly truth.

When I did finally allow some of the ugly in my heart to come to light and accept that I couldn’t change it. What I found surprised me. I didn’t find the adult who was struggling to connect healthily with others. Instead, I found a little boy in me. A little boy who didn’t want to connect again. A little boy who was crushed by friendships repeatedly broken or lost. Friendships broken by circumstances beyond his control. A little boy who did what he needed to to protect his heart. A little boy who got stuck protecting and never grew up. Only when that little boy was able to come to the light and be real that he shuts others out because he is hurt and scared… That’s when Father’s Love comforted my heart and it healed and that part of my heart was able to grow and begin to connect more healthily with others.

An open, vulnerable and honest heart can be Loved and His Love will change me… But change is not the goal, a foundation of the very substance of Father’s Love and comfort in me is. A heart with Father’s Love in it will naturally connect to and Love others.

Hearts on a Journey are hearts that are growing in their ability to receive Father’s Love. There can be a lot of things that hinder us from receiving Father’s Love and I may talk about them in the future. But if this especially interests you, check out or my Other Heart Resources page.

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